Amy Chua's Quotes

Some parents let their kids sleep at other people's houses, where they drink alcohol, watch TV for hours and God knows what else. But if you say you have to get all A's and practice the violin for two hours, then they consider that abusive. That upsets me.

Some people don't need parental commitment, they will still come out great, but for others, parents can be critical in providing moral and academic guidance.

The Chinese model calls for giving your kids very little choice - and I've come to see that you can go too far with that. On the other hand, I also believe that Western parents sometimes give their young kids too much choice.

The Chinese mom is not the helicopter mom. I would never do their homework for them. It's all about: Take responsibility, don't blame others. Be self-reliant. Never blame the teacher.

The most successful hyperpowers are the ones where there was actual intermixing. Tang dynasty China was China's golden age, and contrary to what I was told when I was growing up, Tang China was founded by a man who by today's standards was no more than half Chinese. It was a mixed-blood dynasty that pulled in 'barbarians' from the steppe.

There's a lot of rudeness and sullen behavior and kids that are very entitled and spoiled, just buy me more stuff. I didn't want to raise kids like that.

There's something suspicious about saying, 'I'm just going to leave my child alone and let her pursue her passions.' You know what? I think most 13-year-olds' passion is sitting in front of the TV, or doing Facebook, or surfing the Internet for hours.

Tiger parenting is all about raising independent, creative, courageous kids. In America today, there's a dangerous tendency to romanticize creativity in a way that may undermine it.

Westerners often laud their children as 'talented' or 'gifted', while Asian parents highlight the importance of hard work. And in fact, research performed by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has found that the way parents offer approval affects the way children perform, even the way they feel about themselves.

What the Chinese parent is conveying to the child is not that 'you've got to get A's or else I won't like you.' On the contrary, it's, 'I believe in you so much, I know that you can be excellent.'

When I'm not the Tiger Mom, I'm a professor at Yale Law School, and if one thing is clear to me from years of teaching, it's that there are many ways to produce fabulous kids. I have amazing students; some of them have strict parents, others have lenient parents, and many come from family situations that defy easy description.

You can coddle your child and tell them, 'You're the best no matter what.' But in the end, when they go out into the real world, I think it's pretty tough out there and other children are cruel.

You can't invent Google, Facebook or the iPod unless you've mastered the basics, are willing to put in long hours and can pick yourself up from the floor when life knocks you down the first 10 times.

You know, I think it's so ironic that we're calling hard work, striving for excellence, don't blame others, you know, don't give up, that we're calling these, quote, 'Chinese values,' 'cause I always thought of them as American values.

You know, parenting is so personal. And we're all afraid that we didn't quite get it right. And it feels like the stakes are so high. By we - what if we made a mistake?

Don't assume your child is weak. If you, the parent, assume that they can't take anymore, what kind of signal are you sending them?

I do think that maybe, even subconsciously, a lot of parents in the West are wondering, have we gone too far in the direction of coddling and protecting - you know, you see kids, sometimes that seem very rude and disrespectful. And the more important thing is they don't seem that happy.

I see my upbringing as a great success story. By disciplining me, my parents inculcated self-discipline. And by restricting my choices as a child, they gave me so many choices in my life as an adult. Because of what they did then, I get to do the work I love now.

When I was little, my parents really only wanted me to be a scientist or a doctor; they had never even heard of law school. I think even these days if you were to tell your mother you want to be a fashion designer, or an artist or a writer, a lot of Asian parents would be alarmed because they don't think that's a secure career.

A Western upbringing tends to stress questioning authority, which is always asking why, why, why.

Both of my girls have very high self-esteem because they were both able to master certain things; I should think that's good for their confidence.

Everything I do as a mother builds on a foundation of love and compassion.

I do play tennis, but I don't really like competition. I'm supposed to be so intense, but I hate competition.

I say 'I love you' to my daughters every day.

I sort of feel like people are not that honest about their own parenting. Take any teenage household; tell me there is not yelling and conflict.

I think if you're a 'tiger parent' early on, you don't need to be a 'helicopter parent' in high school.

I'm a slave to my dogs and go out with them almost every day. They are poorly behaved if they don't run. They really act up.

I'm willing to be different than other parents and go against the mainstream.

Instilling a sense of self-discipline and focus when the kids are younger makes it so much easier by the time they get into high school.

Kids raised to be pampered and spoiled don't really end up being good leaders. Leaders need to be independent minded and confident.

Questioning authority is, I think, a great thing to instill in children. I just didn't have enough of that when I was little.

Some people are just self-motivated - my husband was. I also believe there are many children for whom parental involvement is key.

The Romans thought of themselves as the chosen people, yet they built the greatest army on Earth by recruiting warriors from any background.

To be honest, I know that a lot of Asian parents are secretly shocked and horrified by many aspects of Western parenting.

We all want to do the right thing for our children. We all don't know what that is and we all - you know, you won't know until the future.

When my children were young, I was very cocky. I thought I could maintain total control.

When my kids wanted to give up on things, I wouldn't let them, and those are lifelong lessons.

A lot of parents today are terrified that something they say to their children might make them 'feel bad.' But, hey, if they've done something wrong, they should feel bad. Kids with a sense of responsibility, not entitlement, who know when to experience gratitude and humility, will be better at navigating the social shoals of college.

China cannot pull in the best and brightest from all over the world. It's an ethnically defined nation, the opposite of an immigrant nation. You don't see a lot of American engineers trying to be Chinese citizens.

China is doing lots of things right. It's investing in education and R&D, it's opening up, it's more cosmopolitan than it's ever been. I think it's very likely that China will continue to explode economically and certainly become a superpower.