A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.

It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.

His head was full of larceny, but his feet were honest.

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

She's generous to a fault - if it's her own.

The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.