I wanted to be a rock star.

I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I'm not really a late-night host. What I am is honest.

I'm careful with money.

I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do.

I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger.

I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.

I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.

If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.

If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.

Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something.

It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure.

It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night television.

My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.

The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.

The truth is, you win the Lotto. That's really how you have to approach it. You're a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes.

The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman.

When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.

You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.

I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck.