Emo Philips's Profile
Brief about Emo Philips: By info that we know Emo Philips was born at 1956-02-07. And also Emo Philips is American Comedian.
Some Emo Philips's quotes. Goto "Emo Philips's quotation" section for more.I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
Tags: Lucky, Night, TryingHe taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
Tags: Disaster, Smile, TaughtI asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'
Tags: Father, Girlfriend, SaidI discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
Tags: Another, Said, WifeIn our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.
Tags: Gave, Guns, SchoolMy jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
Tags: Head, Jokes, SafePeople always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.
Tags: Alibi, Ask, ShotWhatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
Tags: Children, Good, WhateverI ran five miles today. Then, finally, I said, 'Here, lady...take your purse.'
Tags: Here, Said, TodayWhen I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas.
Tags: Coffee, Morning, UntilYou know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi!
Tags: Ask, Parties, ShotI was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.
Tags: Girl, Her, NightRelated topics
- Pablo Picasso
- Sylvia Plath
- Edgar Allan Poe
- Alexander Pope
- Terry Pratchett
- Steve Prefontaine
- Marcel Proust
- Quentin Bryce
- Maggie Q
- Nizar Qabbani