As a guest who doesn't eat, drink or smoke, you leave much to be desired, but as a writer, you're my girl.

When a man and a woman see each other and like each other they ought to come together - wham - like a couple of taxis on Broadway, not sit around analyzing each other like two specimens in a bottle.

Do you know what I like about your program? Even when I'm running the vacuum, I can understand it.

If there's anything worse than a woman living alone, it's a woman saying she likes it.

Nobody ever invented a polite word for a killing yet.