Garry Shandling's Quotes

I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad.

The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.

You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.

I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.

I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out.

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.

I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.

I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present.

I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.

I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.

I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.

It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think?

But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.