Kinky Friedman's Quotes

Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.

Young people are the key to this election.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.

I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

I'll sign anything except bad legislation.

I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.

If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.

The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.

We were a country band with a social conscience.

We've had to be creative to get on the ballot.

When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.