Mike Epps's Quotes

Well, I think Hollywood, to be quite honest, I think they've run out of material.

Yeah, I don't mess with chicks younger. They got to be almost thirty.

You know how Hollywood is: They just follow suit.

I can remember when I was a baby and my mother was there watching the show. I went and bought 100 episodes and watched them. I respect it so much that the sitcom itself and Ed Norton; I'm not playing Ed Norton but my version of it, cause I'm a black man.

I've been with this young lady for about two years now, and my life changed. I don't even think that way no more. I feel good, too, that I'm changed. Now I feel regular. I feel like I'm supposed to.

She didn't break his heart, but I feel like a man is supposed to be a man, he ain't supposed to be all involved in that. That's why she got sisters and friend for. Just show up with the ring and act right.

They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.

You would be surprised of films that people just don't see. You know what I mean? I'm always working and I'm a film buff but I'm an old school film buff.

I'm a survivor of life. I try to give the glory to God and appreciate what's happening to me.

But I'm real conscious about what I do. I don't care what the label is. I'm looking at the outcome of it.

I'm humble enough to wait and just chill. I'm having fun just working with these good people, man.

Just the fact that I'm in the game is great. I'm just blessed to be working. I got a plan, but I'm humble and I try to be humble.

Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes.

I don't know nothing about no marriages or nothing. I ain't even never been to a wedding.

I think in life, the sense of humor and comedy always exists.

I'm gonna have to develop myself. I'm just going to do the best that I can do.

You know, you can't make the people do what you want them to do.

Every now and then you get a nice Jewish kid who likes black people and they would come in, and it would be a stream of them, and have black friends and really feel the black struggle on the acting tip and it's a reason why all of us are not dying in the movie.

Federal prison, if you get any of it, you're going to have to do 85% of it. And the reason why I called it that is because I had a friend who got sent to the federal joint and his whole... it wasn't about him being in jail. He cried about the 85%.

Honestly, I feel like I am a leading man, and it's just going to take the right project, the female and the right studio. It's got to all gel together, you know what I mean?

I learned that you don't have to be all over the place, that you can be subtle and you can say what you say. The words that you put together can be just as hilarious as falling all over the place or doing something.

With Ice Cube they ain't no telling. He might have one cocked and loaded, ready to bust. We might do The Sunday, two old men sitting around the house waiting on the social security check.

You know, my life's changed now. I'm starting to experience what people are really supposed to do. You supposed to be married. You're supposed to have a family, kids, treat your wife right.