S. J. Perelman's Quotes

The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it out like a dishtowel. You are what you are.

He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my maternal sympathy, and I helped him bite it.

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck.

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.

I'll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they've gone, I'll get along. I started off living on gruel, and by God, I can always go back to it again.

It's not about ego. Really. If it was ego, I'd be telling you about my awesome... oh, never mind.

The strategic marketing paradigm of Open Source is a massively-parallel drunkard's walk filtered by a Darwinistic process.