Stand-Up Comic Quotes

If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting in my house today working on my Leonardo DiCaprio impression.

A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.

Look, you know, you can't please everybody. I'm a stand-up comic. I know that. It doesn't matter how funny you are and how well you do, there's two people that are going to walk out of there hating you.

Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them. That's how I saw myself, in comedy.

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.