Will Rogers's Quotes

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.

Things ain't what they used to be and never were.

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.

There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

Politics is applesauce.

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.